climbing, falling, and looking for home

So… I’ve conformed to the minority–finally.
But who said conformity was a bad thing?

Today was mostly full of refining.
Reading the Word, practicing the flute, reformatting my song on the piano… and refining my video game skills. hahah… however, sadly, I practiced more today on the flute than all the times I practiced this last semester. Pitiful. I’m definetly going to try hard to make next year a great year in music… both instrumentally and chorally

In the Word today, I stumbled across Matthew 5-7 and it was good to reread the sayings of Jesus, especially in the book of Matthew. According to Josh, each Gospel was written to a certain audience. Matthew to the Jews , Mark to the Christians in Rome who were being persecuted, Luke to the minorities [Gentiles, women, etc.], and John… I think the Gentiles.
So since Matthew was written to the Jews, the gospel is set in a format of proofs… proving Jesus is the Son of God to the Jews. Thats why in the beginning of the book, it lists Jesus’ family tree, to show that he is related to King David and is who people like Isaiah once prophesized about: the Messiah.
So of what I read today, Jesus talked about… well, a lot of things. How one should act, to sum it all up. It helped me understand the context of phrases that people often say.

If you think about it, what Jesus said was very revolutionary. Was he the first to bring up what we now call “the golden rule”? Id think so. Turning the other cheek… who did that back then? If you get punched, its only right if you punch back, right? Well… maybe so, but what scars are left when you reach for the other person’s eye to avenge your own? Alluding back to a blog I read the other day about “American sayings”… even though I might not get them, while American sayings such as “you can’t have your cake and eat it too” may be used a lot and to some may be witty, one cannot compare it to what Jesus said across the Jordan.

While I may have reviewed and re-enlightened myself with the wise words from the Gospel, I slipped as well. This whole year ive been slipping. Slipping in this mud and it just wants to pull me back in. I have the power to climb out of it… God doesn’t put obstacles that we cannot overcome, but half of me just wants to fall.

While it might feel cool in the mud compared to the heat thats being beaten on me outside the pigsty, in the end, I’m dirty.

Possibly my mistakes are the reasons of this summer–to extend the analogy. Maybe not. I just know that I take advantage of grace and I cant live like that anymore.

i may have lost my way now…
…haven’t forgotten my way home